Finding a Paradise
by Anki
Summary: Drowning in his loneliness and bitterness Alec build up a wall around him. One that prevented any emotions to slip through, he'd never thought anyone would break that wall. Up until now. Magnus life has been shattered, he wants revenge, he needs it, so to gain it he kidnaps Alec, but slowly both their walls breaks and they learn to love and trust. AU! warning:Stockholm syndrome!
1. Chapter 1 Green golden swirls

**AN: So this is a new fic i have started, it's malec of course but it might contain some heronstairs who knows... so the summary might not elaborate a lot but well the stories is good it's kind of dark passionate romance (which i love). and the beta is the lovely Sophia(PPL-for-the-win) so thank u love so much. so ya plz review if u like. i love criticism as long as it is said in a polite manner. **

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chapter 1: Green golden swirls

_Sun never shone in here_

_a place that I build to keep_

_from showing my fears_

_was colder than ever_

_but I never felt so,_

_but the moment_

_you entered_

_I realized_

_how lonely I've been_

_without you by my side_

_So let me say this right_

_never let go and shine the brightest_

_as to me you're the most brightest and my only sun_

Living is a game, a game one always is playing but the thing is like any other normal games like Sudoku, monopoly, scrabble and etc. One can't just stop playing this game when he/she gets bored, unless the player is no longer breathing to play, you have to play, there's no other way. You have to always be the best to last till the end, to never be badly spoken of or looked down upon, to never be left out alone...

The world is always plotting and planning, no one is to be trusted, always watch your back, be the best cause that's all you can be and if you're not, be prepared for the worst. Alone that's how you're supposed to live, trust yourself because there's no one else, no one to trust, no one to count on. No one. No, I'm not a pessimist, I'm just practical.

Anger...

It boils inside, but I keep hiding it from anyone to see. Anger can be your greatest strength, if you keep it inside, hold on to it and then at one precise moment let it all out, anger is a two edged sword. Either it can give you strength to destroy or it can completely destroy you, keep it safe it's a weapon that no one will see coming, when the time comes you will know how to use it but be careful of holding it, if it bursts out at a wrong time or a wrong place it can be deathly.

Love...

There's no such thing as that, people pretend, they let you think they are on your side protecting you but that's all a lie. They lead you on, waiting for your most vulnerable state and then they strike making you unable to do anything, they paralyze you emotionally. A lie your mind has build to make you feel safe, feel wanted. But that's only a weakness. Emotions are a weakness and love is one of them, it is only a mirage, there's no such thing as love, everyone leaves when you're at your worst. And then you know that love doesn't last, it doesn't exist. It's all a fairytale of a broken child.

"Alexander", the voice of a cold, cold man spoke to me. I recognize that cold voice without even turning around. Somehow the lights in my eyes dim.

"Yes Father." I turn around and find my Father looking with a blank but cold expression on his face. I don't even flinch, I'm used to it after so many times. I used to care but those times are gone now. I'm stronger and more emotionless now. Just like my father wants me to be. A cold robot.

"I presume you know your place in this ball", he asks me with a commanding voice. I nod my head with a blank expression, he smirks, a cold smirk and heads to some guests. I follow him with some distant between us, my father comes to a halt and so do I. I plaster myself with the fakest smile I know and readies myself for another nonsensical chit chat with people who are even more fake than my smile and that actually being a rare occurrence if I add so myself.

"Alexander. How have you been? You look as dashing as ever", a lady, oh no more like a slut in disguise says to me. I turn to her and look at her she was a blond woman with brown eyes and a sultry smile on her face batting her eyelashes like she has a sickness oh yes I remember, her name is Rosaline, a rich, fake, blonde bimbo (and no I'm not being a stereotype here she really is very shallow) who just happens to be the daughter of our targeted company's CEO. She was wearing a blood red evening gown which had a slit to her thighs and had a deep collar showing her chest which she was trying to flaunt her blossoms discreetly to me but failing miserably. I just smiled at her (a fake one of course) and kissed her hand making her blush and giggle a little (god only knows how much I wanted to wipe my lips but I can't do that now, well I can but that would be inappropriate) and speak:

"Very fine my Lady. How are you? However by the looks of it you look very beautiful." I give another bright fake smile that many people find charming which she soon easily returns.

"Well thank you Alexander meet my father." she coos prideful, totally oblivious that I lied, and points at a man besides her, age in the lines of fifties, wrinkles appearing on his face, his blond hair turning platinum due to old age, he also had a fake smile on his face but it was more sinister than anything else. I greeted him with a hand shake after my father, as he being our target. My or my father's goal in all of this is to capture his daughter's heart which will be done by me and gain their trust and infiltrate our way in his company and get (steal) some essential documents and information and at the end use it against them for the benefit of our company and destroy them. Our I mean my _father's _company is one of the best companies in this whole world and that's exactly how it has been one of the best, by cheating and stealing. My father is a very sly man.

I'm always used as a way for my father to benefit, I hate that man, I hate him so much but I need him. I need him to survive but when that will not be necessary I'll have to find a way to get rid of him. I wonder if I could actually do that, he's still in all honesty my father, a father I hate but still a father. But I guess my hate for him will overpower any sense of authority I have.

"Alexander. Why don't you and Rosaline entertain yourselves by dancing", my father interrupts my train of thoughts and I look at his cold demanding expression give him a cold smile and nod. I take Rosaline's hands in mine and she blushes, I lead her around and we make our way towards the dance floor, she giggles again, her voice making me want to bang my head but I can't do that now, it would be inappropriate. I take my hand and place it on her waist and my other hand in hers, she places her hand on my shoulder and we begin to sway to the music, she clinging to me for dear life shoving her chest on mine.

I feel disgusted.

There's a reason I don't like woman much and that being I am in no way interested in them, I am homosexual, a gay, a queer, a fag whatever you may call it. Of course my father doesn't know and I like to keep it that way, I don't want to give my biggest enemy my biggest weakness now, do I? Dancing with a woman is however so not something I enjoy doing, it reeks and not just her perfume but everything around here reeks making me suffocate. I feel like going away from here from this façade, it's suffocating. I need to get out of here. I just have to charm her fast and try to get out of here and go to that place. Huh. My only haven right now.

_I'm walking down the road of darkness_

_Trying and failing to find the light within_

_Will it ever stop_

_Will I ever let go of your heart_

_I know I shouldn't be this cruel_

_But what can I do?_

_You're the brightest thing in my heart_

_Save me or bring me down_

_Are your option my love_

_I'm falling I'm falling_

_To my own doom_

_Now it's your choice_

_Will you fall with me_

_Or finally let go of my heart?_

Just a little more, just a little more. I chant inside my head. I thrust in harder and deeper this time, earning myself moan of the silver haired man underneath me. The bed is creaking madly beneath us, I sped up the speed of my thrusts and the silver haired man tightens his hold on my shoulders and gasps and moans some more.

"Will."

I smile, a genuine sad smile and gently remove the silver hair plastered on the forehead of the man and lean down to kiss his cheek. "No Jem its Alec", I whisper against his cheek.

Jem tightens his hold on my shoulders and opens his beautiful silver eyes and interlocks his gaze with my blue ones.

"A-Alec?", Jem breathes out.

"Yes Jem."

"Go harder faster. Please, Will used to do that."

"Okay", I say and I pick Jem's leg over my shoulder and let them rest there, I pull out and thrust in, this time going deeper than before, Jem gasps again and his eyes flutter close, his hands losing its grip but gaining it fast. I began thrusting harder and faster this time. I burry my face in Jem's shoulder as my pace quickens and becomes erratic. I know I'm nearing the edge as is Jem who is panting and moaning madly beneath me.

"Will. I love you", Jem moans and comes in between our abdomen and chest. I thrust more becoming more and more erratic and slow and I come inside of Jem. I pull out of Jem and lay beside him.

"Alec." I look up to Jem's beautiful silver eyes gazing at me with love but I know better, Jem doesn't love me, he loves Will. I'm just a replica, that's how I always will be, he sees Will in me and I'm okay with that, he is the closest to someone I actually care for. He could be my weakness.

"Hmm", I voice out deep in thought.

"What's wrong with you?", he asks resting his head on my arm and locking his gaze with mine.

"What do you mean?", I say absentmindedly stroking his hair, it's soft I note.

He shifts in bed and the bed creaks more, he gets up from it and starts picking up his clothes lying on the floor and putting it on. "I mean there's something wrong, you're deep in thought. You usually come here to get rid of them", he says putting his t-shirt on and looking at me, I get up from the bed and began putting on my own clothes.

"I'm perfectly fine I think today just got to me just a little too bad", I say putting my last article of clothes, my black silk suit jacket, on.

Jem sits back on his bed, resting his hand behind his back and leaning behind a little he tilts his head studying me. "You do realize whatever you want to you can tell me? You know", he says concern evident in his eyes.

I raise my head and stop fixing my tie, and look up to him and raise an eyebrow. "Of course Dr. Phil whatever you want." I give a mock salute.

Jem laughs, his silver eyes shining "Now is not a good moment for you to be this sarcastic Mr. Lightwood", he shakes his head still chuckling, "but I still love that side about you."

I tilt my head to the side. "You love that side about me or is it Will you see?"

As soon as I let these words out of my mouth any trace of a smile is gone from Jem's face and it fell. He looks torn. Broken even. Jem may come as a guy who seems happy all the time. Who seems as no situation can turn that smile away and usually it doesn't but now one word has destroyed it but the funny thing is the smile was never there to be destroyed, it's all a lie, his smile is a lie, the word, it didn't just destroyed Jem's smile but his whole soul. He is good at pretending, pretending, he is always been good at that. Pretending to be normal, happy but only I see how empty he is inside. How shallow his existence is. Living and living but what for? No goal, no aim, no motivation, it has all been destroyed by just one person so easily, one more reason I don't want to ever fall in love or ever open up to someone, the more you trust the person, the more he has power over you, one move just one move from the person and your reduced to pitiful state of never being fixed. Funny somehow I feel like I am describing myself. That's such irony but that's one more reason I keep him around when I know keeping people close to your heart (not that I'm saying he is close to my heart) will bring you down, they will explore your vulnerability, never show any weakness to them then they will not know. Jem reminds me of myself, reading him, seeing him makes me learn about my own self, my weaknesses, it's comical in a very tragic way.

I may be a monster for hurting him, but he needs to be broken enough to finally realize, how much of a monster that person is, he defends him, he still loves him, cares for him even though, he ruined Jem. And I know, he hates himself for it. It breaks him even more knowing it. Hell I don't hate him for it, I just pity him. He is weak and he shouldn't be.

"I'm leaving", I say after a long instant of silence. I fix my tie one more time and ruin it again, I put on my socks and shoes and make my way towards the door, I take off my coat from the rusty coat hanger and put it on, Jem doesn't say anything during the time and I don't blame him, I give a last glance towards Jem, he is sitting on the bed and he is not facing me, he is looking opposite of me towards the window which is showing the night sky, his expression is of pain and he is reminiscing the past, I leave him be and open the door out of the apartment, stepping outside.

"Goodnight Jem happy new year."

_Crying in the darkness_

_Waiting for it to start_

_Sitting out alone_

_Waiting for my heart to beat fast_

_It's cold here_

_And I've so many things to fear_

_I'm on my own_

_Love is nowhere shown_

_So what am I gonna do_

_When it finally start_

_The beginning of_

_Beating of my_

_Cold cold heart?_

_Should I succumb to the feeling_

_Or should I fight it off?_

_I don't know the reason_

_Why we met_

_Is it to destroy each other_

_Or to give each other reason's_

_Of why we exist._

The night was on its full bloom, the stars were glimmering in the azure sky, the moon was glowing silver, casting shadows down the street of everything it could touch, I was currently walking down the street down of Jem's apartment complex, this place is somewhere someone of my status doesn't visit, more likely no one really visits this place much, only shady people live here hiding from law, Jem lives here by saying it's here he is more comfortable but I know that's all just a lie, Jem lives here because he believes if he stays here one day, one day _he_ will come back to his home. But I know even his belief is betraying him now, Jem already knew from a while back _he_ is not returning but he still waits, he waits because if he doesn't Jem will be lost. Doing something with such determination and obsession for such a long time and finally realizing what he was doing had no meaning to begin with. Now he doesn't know what to do with himself. If he stops waiting he will be nothing. So he waits.

As I was walking down the next street, I only see drunkards barely managing to walk or prostitutes asking those drunkard if they want a good time, some even came to me but of course being the queer I am, I rejected them. People say prostitutes are bad, they are the dirt of the society, I don't hate prostitutes neither do I think they are dirt. They do everything in their power to survive even if it meant selling their bodies, so yes I don't hate prostitutes. At least they don't pretend to be someone they are not and do the same dirty thing behind doors. In a way prostitutes makes me wonder how courageous they are.

I walk down the street light but quickly halt in my step as I see some men approaching, I recognize these men, and they are my father's men. I turn back, so my back is towards these men and start walking slowly; luckily these men have not seen me yet. I keep my head down and quicken my pace a little as for them to not get suspicious but it's highly likely they will get suspicious I'm the only person who here is wearing such expensive clothing. Why are they here? Has my father sent them? Does he know my secret? Will he harm Jem? I quicken my pace again as these thoughts keep coming and last one haunting me in more ways than one.

I look behind discreetly and see that they are indeed following me, I know if they are here for me, I can't endanger Jem, so I take a lane in the opposite direction of Jem's apartment, I quicken my speed so now I'm full blown running, I again look behind and see that they are not that far behind, I quicken my pace again, my legs pumping with adrenaline and my heart is beating faster both from fear and running, though the fear is not for me it's for Jem, I can't let that man harm him. I'll not let that happen. I can at least fool these men and bring them as far from Jem's place as possible and then I'll just trick them and find a way to contact Jem and tell him to run away far from here. As much as I would like to think this is over reacting but it's not I know my father and I know what kind of a monster he is.

"Magnus Bane stop right there", one of the men shouts. Wait Magnus Bane? So they are not after me.

"Bane. You have nowhere to go now. We'll catch you", another shouts. They are really here for some Bane person but I still can't stop if I stop running, they will catch me and know who I am. Shit. Well at least Jem is safe. But if I got caught he won't be for long. Shit.

I quicken my pace again, now my legs are downright screaming for me to stop. The pain is shooting from my feet to my hips but I don't dare to stop more because of Jem than anything else, I turn around the street but then suddenly I'm pulled into a dark alley, I'm pushed towards a wall very hard and my head bangs and it hurts and my vision blurs, I can't tell who my assaulter is but my lucky guess is one of my father's men. I groan out loud and shut my eyes because of the pain in my head but a hand is put above my mouth before I could say anything.

I open my eyes and I see swirls, green golden swirls. Beautiful green golden swirls, I focus my eyes and see that they are actually eyes, Asiatic beautiful almond shaped eyes. The iris has enchanting golden green colored and it's gaze is piercing through my very being, it's like for a while I'm stuck and not just me but everything around me too, the time, the world, the universe it's all stuck, and there is no one else but the man and me. I broke away from my trance as I hear footsteps coming I look to the side and see my father's men they are running forward and no one seems to notice us, I look back again to the man and he smiles at me, he puts a figure on his lips and whisper "shhh."

I don't say anything after that I just look into his eyes while he looks into mine, he's still has his hand above my mouth but I don't do anything to remove it, part of the reason being my hands are trapped behind my back and part being I don't want to lose contact with him, it's surreal how odd I feel right at this moment it's a odd but welcoming feeling being pressed against, now that I think about it we are pressed tightly in this narrow lane, his lower body pressed against mine, his chest touching mine, we're both breathing heavily and our chest is rising and falling at the same rate, I feel a weird sensation ignite in me.

"They're gone now", the man says in a whisper, his voice is low and silky making me shudder. He removes his hand from my mouth and I see that it has my saliva on it because of being pressed too hard on my mouth. I look at his hands feeling a little embarrassed but I don't show it, I look up at him with a blank expression and he looks down at me with a smirk, we're still pressed together but no one is making a move to budge, I don't move partly because I don't want to seem weak and partly because I like this position, I've got to admit this man is very attractive indeed. He has light caramel skin, which is faultless and is lustrous, he is a tall man, taller than me, he must be 6'3 or so, he is a lean man with lean limbs but still is muscular, I've to say he is one of the most attractive man I've seen with those sparkling green gold eyes, his eyes held vast confident, grace, wisdom and amusement, I couldn't quite decipher if that confident of his in eyes is just a mask or not. He is a very secretive person I can tell.

He backs away from me, a smirk still on his feature, I gave a breath of relief as the proximity reduces, he is still in a one arm distant from me so I straighten up and gain my composure and try to look intimidating and I know I do look intimidating, his smirk widens at this and his eyes lighten in pure amusement, we stare at each other eyes and no one seems to break contact, he raises his hand, the one where my saliva is, and I stiffen and raise my eyebrows and ready my body to dodge his attack but he doesn't attack he starts licking my saliva off of it slowly, going up and down his red tongue teasingly slow, his eyes are trained on me with a smirk and mine trained on his hand, I gulp down as I realize if I watch anymore I'll be having some problems in the southern region which is already excited enough, I break away from looking at him and he stops licking his hand and chuckles.

He looks at me with a smirk and amusement and comes close and my breath hitches at the sudden proximity, he leans down, so his lips are right next to my ear, he breathes me in, his nose gently barely touching my neck , he runs his nose up and down my neck breathing me in, warmth spread across my whole body at the contact and I tilt my head giving him more excess, his breath tickles my cheeks and neck making me shudder in excitement, now my breath is coming a little fast and I've to bite my lips to stop blushing which is getting harder to fight off. "Now that was delicious", he purrs out and backs away smirking and breathing a little faster like me.

He winks at me and says: "Happy new year beautiful stranger hope we meet again",

And starts walking away, I look at him as he walks away when he is no where seen, I slump down and breath heavily and try to gain my breath and calm my heart, soon when I've calmed enough I resume walking this time making sure no one is around me or following me, I make my way towards the better side of city than where Jem's apartment is. I haul a cab.

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****an: so how was it? i hope u liked it. plz tell me how were the poems and if u liked this fic than check out my other malec fic though they are complete different but it's a humor one so balance each other. bye!****


	2. Chapter 2 Raphael

**_A/n: so this is another chapter this might not be that good but i hope u all like it and Raphael is important for the story_**

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Chapter- 2 Raphael

You do realize

You've been in my heart

For a very long time

It doesn't matter

Even if your shattered

Your beauty are in those

Shattered pieces

That I picked

To make you

Once again feel

What's wrong what's right

It isn't you who is wrong

It's the world who

Doesn't understand

Don't worry

I do see how dark

You can be

The bitter parts of you

Is the sweetest to me

I'll fix them one day

That's a promise I'll keep babe

The sadness in you

Even if it wasn't

Seen in your smile

But I know it still there

Your eyes

You know they really betray you babe

But don't worry I'm here now

I'll wipe that smile off your face

I'll ignite something so deep inside

I know I'll make you smile

For real this time

Don't forget

You are not the only

One who wants me babe

I want you just as much as you crave

But I'll not say

You were not the one who was saved

The truth is a little twisted babe

You were the one who saved me babe

I get off of the cab and hand the driver money letting him keep the change and wander around, it's New Years Eve today and everyone has someone they are with, I let my eyes wander off to my surrounding there's couples everywhere, small families, laughing enjoying and just being happy with each other's presence, I feel a twinge of jealousy ignite in me and I look away in distaste, I see a kid looking all alone in this cold weather leaning against a dirty looking building, looking at everything around him, the same couples and families with the same hate and distaste as I feel, he is around year fifteen or sixteen of age, I come near him, and observe him more carefully, he has tattered clothes on his body barely managing to keep him warm, he has curly black hair and black eyes with thin eyebrows and his skin is honey colored, he looks Mexican with a thin body structure it might have been a little muscular if he didn't look so starved, he looks up to me with the same hate and I grin darkly.

"And who might you be?" I ask.

He glares at me in hate and spat with so much venom that I should have winced but I grinned "who the fuck are you?"

I leaned back right next to him and looked at him grinning darkly "I'm you"

He tilts his head to the side and examines me, a glare and an angry frown still present on his face "what do you mean? Are you high mister?" he snarls

I smirk and lean more to the wall and close my eyes "nah I'm not high kid. I'm just barely sane"

I open my eyes looking at the dark sky as dark as my soul and glance at the kid and see him eye me curiously "you know I don't bite, name's Alec. Who might you be kid?"

The apparent kid glared at me with more hatred but I could see he found it amusing, I've been always good at reading people he wasn't hard but not exactly easy to read either.

"Why do you want to know my name?" he says this time with a calm face but his bitterness and hate still ever so present in his eyes.

I shrug "don't know" I say and close my eyes leaning against the wall.

"Raphael"

I open my eyes and look at the source of the voice and see the kid leaning against the wall with his eyes closed "Raphael" I smirk. "Do you want to survive in this world?" I look at him and see him already looking at me with a serious face.

"Yes" he slowly says after a while, biting his lips in unease. I smirk.

I push myself off the wall and take some steps before turning back and looking at Raphael. "Come with me" he looks puzzled and is indecisive, I smirk "you don't have anywhere else to go right. You'll die here in this cold anyway so what's it got to give come with me" I say this with eerily seriousness in my eyes.

Raphael looks at me for a minute, the words finally registering and he begin following me although the indecisiveness is still present. I smirk and we walk silently in a comfortable silence, when we arrive at our destination I look at Raphael and see him raise an eyebrow at me.

"You brought me to the most expensive restaurant. What are you planning? feed me and kill me and eat me like a pig" he says in monotone voice.

I bark out laughing shaking my head "nah I couldn't eat you. I don't do cannibalism... yet. So what's use of doing that" I ask and walk inside the restaurant, the door man held the door for me and I stop seeing as Raphael hasn't still moved an inch "now come on the door man will not be holding the door for you all night" Raphael breaks from the trance he was in and follows me inside, the door man looks at him in disgust and I glare at him in hate making him drop his gaze, Raphael doesn't seem to saw our little exchange though as he is busy observing the restaurant in awe.

We come across an attendee and she eyes Raphael with the same disgust as the door man "sir might I ask do you actually have a table here?" she says with clear distrust in her voice. Raphael flinches as she gives him an disgusted look, I smirk.

"Nope" after hearing my answer she glares at me and Raphael, who is looking at me annoyingly.

"Then I have to say to get out from here before I call the guards. I don't know why people like you bother coming here. Disgusting people" she says and gestures for us to get out, I smirk and tilt my head.

I eye her name tag it reads Megan and I smirk more "well Megan I don't seem to have a table but I do seem to own the restaurant" after hearing this her glare disappear and alarm rises in her features, she looks frantic but still not believing.

"Are you Mr. Lightwood?" she asks her eyes begging me to say no but I know she recognized me; I just smirk and nod at her misery.

"Yes that would be me Alec Lightwood" I say motioning Raphael who looks shocked to say the least forward "now can we have a table" I say tilting my head and smiling innocently. Raphael snickers who appears to be out of his trance now. I grin at him, he grins back. Megan now looks downright near crying, she is frantically putting her blonde hair behind her ears and trembling slightly.

"I-I'm s-sorry M- Mr. Lightwood" she stuttered on verge of tears, I looked back at Raphael and said "So what do you say Raphael?"

He looked up at me "don't know, she was quite rude" he shrugged grinning.

"Yeah I think so too" I said tapping my chin as if thinking.

"No no please I'm so sorry Mr. Lightwood" she said begging.

I looked at Raphael and back at the waitress "well don't say sorry to me apologize to Raphael then we may let you go"

The waitress began to apologize frenetically to Raphael and Raphael looked uncomfortable but still grinned after that Raphael and me were led to the most lavish tables for two, which suspiciously looks like a couples table. It was a big enough table with red silken table cloth which had black lace in its edges, it was decorated with red, pink, blue and white roses petals and roses which were put together in a bowl with gold design, it had a diamond chandelier hanging above the table, and golden-silver and diamond candle stand on it, which held maroon colored lavender scented candles.

I look at the attendee who coincidently was not Megan and groaned "seriously do I look a pedophile to you?"

Raphael laughed disguising it with a cough and looked away so I'll not see his grinning face, the new attendee whose name was George, looked terrified and was shooting both me and Raphael pleading looks, "but aren't you two...?" he stutters out, looking between the two of us.

I groaned and shook my head and look at Raphael who is looking like is having a seizure from controlling his laughter,

"W-well if you want a honeymoon suite we can also arrange that" the attendee says with a confident nod, I groan once and face palm myself and look at Raphael who is on his knees holding his stomach laughing.

"Go go before I kill you" I growl at the attendee with a glare and he scrambles off in a sprint "and send someone else" I call out to him.

I look at Raphael and he looks up at me from his place on the ground and he burst out laughing again, I glare at him and sigh and take a seat on the chair, Raphael after a while composes himself and gets up from the floor and takes a place on the chair opposite of me.

"Okay that was totally the highlight of the week" Raphael says after a moment of silence.

"I liked the glaring you better than this" I shot back glaring at him.

Raphael bit his lips from keeping himself from smiling, I just shook my head at him a small smile tuck on my lips as well, it's very hard to make me smile for real I'm always bitter but I guess so is Raphael so we connect there I guess. Another attendee came to take our orders bringing champagne to us, when he went to pour Raphael champagne in his wine glass, Raphael grinned and I glared at him

"Nope don't pour him any" I said to the attendee

Raphael glared at me "why?" he whined.

"You are underage. Nope you are not getting any" I said glaring back at him.

He huffed and folded his arms against his chest like a child. I shook my head at his antics and gave my order to the attendee which was Steak Diane after looking at the menu and Raphael did the same ordering Coq au Vin and the attendee went away to get our orders after he went away I rose an eyebrow at Raphael in question

"What?" he asked annoyed by my look.

"How the hell do you know what Coq au Vin is?" I asked in surprise.

"My mom was a cook she used to make a lot of new dishes to us" he said shrugging as if it was not a big deal to know Classic French dish but I still managed to catch a glimpse of sadness in his eyes and guilt it was very little almost non existence but still there and I caught it.

"Hmm so how did you end up on streets?" I asked interested and letting go of the previous topic and taking a sip of my champagne.

Raphael shrugged again "how everyone else does" he said again faking unconcerned but I still caught a slight glimpse of uneasiness in his feature, his shoulder were a little tense and I saw a slight tensing of the jaw that were not visible to normal people.

After that I didn't ask anything to not to make everything anymore uncomfortable than it already was, a heavy atmosphere of silence fell over us in which I sipped my wine and Raphael fidgety sipped his root beer which he ordered after I rejected him from taking the wine. The silence was though soon broken by Raphael who looked he could be anywhere but here.

"So you are a lightwood?" he asked.

"Indeed I am" I answered nodding.

Raphael looked seemed to be having an internal battle than gave a sigh and asked "why are you doing this?"

I looked from my glass and asked "doing what?"

Raphael frowned then glared at me "THIS" he screamed angrily at me standing up gesturing to the table and the restaurant "why are you getting me dinner. Don't tell me you really are a pedophile"

I looked at him and frowned "for fucking nth time I'm not a fucking pedophile. I don't do kids" I said with a seriously annoyed face.

Raphael looked at me and sat back down with a huff and crossed his arms over his chest "so why are you doing this?" he asked again calmer this time.

I leaned in my comfy seat and looked up to the chandelier, the diamonds was of brilliant green color shining bright when the light fell on them they looked like twinkling green stars only they were on earth hanging from a ceiling and... Green, the green color however reminded me of the man in the alley, his eyes were the same green color but I'm sure they were brighter and twinkling more than these diamonds are, that was the first time I had seen such beautiful eyes in my life I had seen many beautiful people but none of them had those kind of eyes or can even be compared to those eyes, those cat like eyes they were so vivid, the emotion inside those eyes were the most difficult to read, I've never seen anyone in my life which can hide their emotion as good as that man, the first thing I thought about the man was how well guarded he was, he was a puzzle, a puzzle I can't solve.

I groan why am I thinking of him? I shake my head to get rid of his thoughts. I look at Raphael who is still waiting for my answer I sit straight looking at the death serious black eyes of his with my own blue one.

"To tell you the truth I really don't know. Maybe it's one of those time in a guys life when he does something without thinking" Raphael frowns but I continue "or maybe it's because I see dark in you" this catches his interest and he eyes me expectantly to continue but I don't do so and he frowns at that almost agitated.

Raphael sighed again and said "What do you mean by that?"

I smirked at him and replied "I meant exactly what I said, I see the dark in you, the hatred, the bitterness I see it all"

Raphael seems to be taking my word in and then he asks "it still doesn't explain why you did all this"

I took a sip from my champagne and say while looking into his eyes "indeed it doesn't. The reason I helped you doesn't really matter now does it? All that matters is I helped you and will help you"

Raphael looks sharply at me and says in as sharp voice as his gaze "it might not matter to you, you might bring many street rat like me with you in the name of saving but it matter to me why you do this. I want to know"

I heave a sigh already knowing this was going to happen "cause I am just like you maybe I'm saving you for myself" I say and leave it at that.

After that there are no words exchanged between me and Raphael, both of us sat there eating our meals and in our thoughts, I know Raphael is contemplating my words trying to find the answer to the riddle, I let him be and wonder in my own thoughts, I think of Jem and wonder if he is safe, I come to a decision of calling Jem after I drop Raphael. After finishing our meal I pay the bill and I make my way out of the restaurant, Raphael following close behind, after walking for a while we come to a stop in front of a building a huge yet old building. I ring the bell and after waiting for five minutes the door opens revealing a plump yet old aged woman with white hair and wrinkled face wearing a yellow shirt and black pants above the shirt she was sweater and a shawl.

"Ah. Alec it's so nice to see you. Is Jem with you?" the old woman says in a warm voice as she looks around to find Jem but doesn't spot him, rather than him she spots Raphael who was trying to hide behind me, she gives me a curious yet questioning glance.

"Mrs. Thomson it's nice to see you too" I say in a firm voice and shove Raphael in front of me.

"This is Raphael and I would like you to take care of him" I complete as Raphael looks at me weirdly and Mrs. Thomson chuckles and says

"My My you are still a man of few words" she gestures us inside and we make our inside the living which gave off a homey feeling, it was a big enough room which had big brown leather couches in between the room and same brown colored love seats, a huge fire place in the right side of the couches and a TV in front of the couches and many more homey stuff.

"This place sure hasn't changed" I comment off handedly.

"Yes my dear it hasn't. Now keep your voice down the kids are sleeping" she chides as she leaves us in the living and enters the kitchen.

After she leaves I sit down on the couch and Raphael sits on one of the love seats.

"Why are we here and where is this?" Raphael asks fidgeting slightly on his spot.

I regard him with a cool gaze, a smirk on my face and answer him "This is an orphanage which is ran by me and a friend of mine who was brought up here"

After getting this information Raphael's glare got spat and he spat at me with hate "So why am I here? I thought you were gonna save me not bring me to a place like this" he said gesturing to the place

I lean more against the couch and sigh "Raphael I don't what kind of things you heard about a orphanage but this is not that kind of place..." but before I can continue Raphael cuts me off

"Oh no I have not heard about an orphanage I have been in one and I don't want to be in one again" he spats with hate.

I sat straighter and look intimidating that even Raphael shuts up and looks at me with slight fear "listen Raphael this is not that kind of place this is run by me and my friend who once used to live here and now he is studying to be a doctor so if you want to be something in life you have to be here and show the world who you can be, show all those stupid people you are above them, crush those who comes in your way and if you want that I will provide you with it" I complete my speech looking directly into his eyes.

"You will?" he says looking back at me.

I smirk leaning back against the couch and say "I will"

After that Mrs. Thomson returns with two steaming hot chocolates and place one in front of me and Raphael.

"So Alec mind explaining what you meant earlier?" Mrs. Thomson asks me sipping her tea.

"I meant what I said I want you to take him in" I say sipping my own hot chocolate.

She sighs "alright it's already late and you don't seem to be answering any of my question. I will just contact jem tomorrow morning" she says to me with a shake of her head "and you sweetie...?"

"It's Raphael" Raphael provides

"Raphael sweetie I will show you your room and talk to you tomorrow about everything" she says to Raphael who nods in answer. "And you stay here" she says to me. She went upstairs to show him and I take that as my cue to go.

I make my way outside and hail a cab to my house, I don't want to go but I have to, it's my prison that I have to live in no matter it's only for a while when I take over the whole company I wouldn't have to suffer like this anymore, I will ruin that man.

The car stops some block down my house and I hand him over the cash making my way to my house but I remember I have to call jem so I dial his number and let the phone ring, after the third ring he picks up

"Hello Alec" Jem asks in more of a question.

"Yes it's me Jem" I reply walking slowly to my house.

"Hey I thought you were angry" Jem says with a sad tone.

I smile and say "I couldn't possibly be angry on you Jem" I say as I turn down the street.

Jem laughs and says "what got you in such a good Mr. Lightwood?"

"Well Mr. Carstairs that's why I have ringed you up" I say quickening my pace.

"Oh my his highness Mr. Lightwood has himself ringed this lowly servant of his" he said teasingly

I laugh out loud and say teasingly "well you are right I'm not sure that such a lowly servant can do what ask for him to do"

Jem huffs from the other side of the phone and says in a sharp voice "shut up there is nothing I can't do"

I laugh again amused "yes I know Jem that's why I called you. So there is this kid I found on my way. He is an orphan can you take him in the orphanage?" I state rather asked.

"Sure" replies jem "I will go into paperwork from tomorrow onwards"

I smile and see my house is close by "ok thank you Jem good night" I say

"Good night Alec" replies and I imagine him smiling and cuts the phone and was about to keep it in my pocket when I feel a sharp pain on my head and hazily turns too unfocused to actually see anything other than green swirls and then everything went black.

Jem.

Take me away

This place is not

For me to stay.

I'm scared here

This fear is too much

For me to Dominate.

Alone .

I don't want to be that again.

As much as power as you need

I'll grant you mine if you must

Have it your way.

Hardship will come and go

But please don't let me go.

Scared I've always been

But let me just

Remember our good times

Where we were nothing but

Our shattered identity

Of our past lives

But I know we'll come out of

Our shells one day

Hurricane.

You are that to me

Destroy me whole

Don't let the inner me take its toll

Don't let anything be left at all

But also remember

To build me afresh

With an extra inch of happiness you can get.

* * *

**_so review if you liked it and remember Alec might have feelings for Jem_**


	3. Chapter 3 Lost in you

**hello guys it's been a while sorry this chap is so late but i had written for a real long time but didn't want to post it, so sorry for that if you really like the fic please give a try it's not bad n this chap is flashback n how alec is turned into what he is now if you don't like dark please don't read. thank you n please review. **

* * *

I am lost in you

You are a puzzle I can't put through

So why is it we burn bright

Everything we do

Reminds me of a future we can't put through

I am still lost in you

Bring me up

I am falling deeper

I am lost in you

Can you save me from you

So haunt me now

Let's find something anew

Then let's burn bright

And everything I do

I'm still reminded of you

I'm lost in you

I wonder if I'm lost by you

But everything we do

I'm still lost in you

Can you save me from you

And keep me from my truth

Cause I'm lost in you

Let's defend each other from truth

But I'm still lost in you

Please save me from you

Cause I'm lost in you

Till I get to my grave

And even beyond every parade

I will be lost in you

There was a coating of darkness around me, a lot of it, no matter where I looked I only saw darkness, I was floating in darkness, I couldn't even feel or see my body, I didn't know if it even existed anymore or not, it was as if the darkness has finally consumed me, taken me whole in to the place where I belonged, in pits of hell. I was not scared, on the contrary I already saw it coming, I knew I would go down to hell one day, I was just surprised that it was this quick, I wanted to do so much more, I wanted to take my revenge for one last time but now all I have now is darkness. I don't have to live by my revenge now. Does that mean I'm free? Or am I trapped again but knowing my luck I'm betting on the second option. I guess I had it coming. Yes I did have it coming.

I feel as if my body was sucked into something I couldn't quite see, but just feel, then I saw something, something out of the dark, a light, a small flicker of light which began to grew until it consumed me, then there was I standing in front of another light it was like there is a movie playing right in front of me and I was inside of it helpless and defenseless, defenseless of the memories that came flooding in then the emotions kicked in but I tried to stay composed as I could be, I didn't want to see what I was seeing, something I thought I had long forgotten, but there it was right before me there was a small kid of seven or six with messy black hair and large doe like oceanic blue eyes the same as mine, those eyes they held such innocence and misery I had to turn away so I couldn't get lost on those eyes and their pain.

"D-Daddy?" the little boy said feebly biting his lips in the process unconsciously and looking up.

"what?" the older of late twenties man snapped at the young child with a raged look on his face making the child flinch at his tone and the word, the small boy looked at the older male with teary eyes and trembled, he never really liked his father, he has always been a scary man an unapproachable man who he couldn't speak to.

The small boy shook his head thinking about something and forcefully stopped the trembling of his legs, he looked up still trembling a little but his eyes held determination.

"Daddy I w-want to k-know where m-mommy and I-Izzy are?" although the child's voice trembled and he shook from fear he managed to voice his thoughts out and he was proud of that.

The older man started laughing but his laugh didn't held any happiness, it was mirthless, mocking and cold making the little boy shivers in fear.

Alec watched as the little boy trembled under the harden gaze of the older man and had tears of fear running down his chubby porcelain like face, he really was scared and the thought made Alec's heart clench.

"D-Daddy b-but m-mommy a-and I-Izzy..." the kid stuttered even through fear he wanted to know about his mother and sister.

"Pathetic" the older man said voice booming in the whole room which appeared to be a study room decorated with books shelves which held books and more books with a big study table in the center of it, "You and your mother are so pathetic"

The boy trembled and he could hear the hate in the men's voice which made him internally hate himself but he still didn't had answer he needed to hear "M-Mommy is not p-pathetic p-please don't c-call her t-that" he whimpered and older Alec flinched hearing how weak and fragile the little kids voice sounded. He really was pathetic.

There was skin slapping skin sound heard in the room and after that a thud was heard, the little boy was down on the ground holding his cheek which had a bright red hand mark imprinted on them. The expression on the kids face was that of shock and ultimate fear yet his eyes were expressionless, he trembling looked at the man standing in front of him but now no tear came from his eyes, the kid was just too shocked never in his short seven year old life was he ever hit by anyone but now someone was hitting him in his home where he should be feeling safe. And the person who threaten to hurt him was none other than his blood and flesh and now how was he suppose to feel safe, the person standing in front of him couldn't be his father, father don't hurt their child, they protect them, the man in front wasn't his father, no he can't be, he was a...

"Monster...You are a monster" the voice came out little above a whisper but was heard clearly by both older Alec and the man, it sounded so strange from the expressive and innocent voice he heard a moment ago it was emotionless and nothing more than a monotone.

Another laugh was heard from the man, the same cruel laugh, "I am a monster but you know who left you with this monster? your mother, she didn't love you enough so she discarded you like a piece of shit you are but don't worry I will make you stronger I will discard this weak side of you"

Each word he said hurt the little boy like a slap but the boy didn't cry from the pain in his heart he just stared at the man in front of him with emotionless eyes and face, a lot of things were going inside his head his emotion were in a disarray, hurt, sadness, helplessness and betrayal were attacking his heart and head like a spear but the most prominent one betrayal overpowered others and he stood up dusted himself off and looked dead straight at the man's face with his own emotionless eyes.

"make me" the small boy said in a stern voice so strange and different from the innocent voice he had, there was no sign of innocence detected in his voice "make me stronger"

Another laugh was heard and the scene cleared out leaving Alec wanting to stop the child from making the decision. He knew the child wanted to be strong so he would never be left alone, he knew how painful it was knowing your mother left you cause you were weak or not good enough but he stopped himself he couldn't do anything after all this was just a memory...

The darkness consumed him again but right now it was welcoming and just as before a light came flickering and he was once again consumed in it standing in front of his memory, this time the boy has grown and was now of eleven with the same messy black hair and blue eyes glaring right at a group of boys.

"hey lightwood you loser why the fuck would you rattle us out to the teacher you were with us when we were smoking" the guy with messy dark brown hair said.

There were currently four guys surrounding the eleven year old, who didn't seem scared at all while the other guys present were ready to beat him up when the time came.

"that's simple if I wouldn't have done that I would be the one who would have been in trouble" the black haired boy said smirking and laughing at their expression.

"you would do this to your friends?" one of the boys shouted at him.

His smirked widened "friends? Ah you are telling me about friends? You guys are so pathetic. You who follow me around just because I'm rich call me your friend, wasn't it you who sneakily threw my test paper away so I would fail in my exams and weren't you guys the one jealous of me because I had gained the interest of the most popular girl in our school and tried to sabotage my image by spreading false rumors I do have my sources you know" he looked at their shocked expression casually smirking "and if that wasn't enough after I beat you guys on the basketball game you couldn't take your loss and tried to throw me in front of a bus in a name of playfully shoving around yes what great friends you are"

The venom in the boy's voice made not only the boys flinch but also older Alec who was standing there watching the scene unfold.

"H-How did you" one of the boys said.

"how did I know?" Alec grinned darkly making all the boys present their shudder "oh dear Taylor I know everything you pathetic piece of shit"

"You... you bastard" Sam the leader of the group snarled at him and warningly raised his fist.

"What you really think I thought of you as friends you trashes you think _I_ will think of you as friends?" the younger Alec laughed mirthless and cold "I don't need shits like you as friends in fact I don't need friends you useless beings can't even hold a candle to me I used you all" she shouted at their even more shocked faces. He was yet again betrayed but this will be the last time he would trust anyone, no one is to be trusted he learned his lesson now.

This made all the guys present there snarl and growl at him angrily

"you will pay for this lightwood" Sam said as he lunges forward with others in toe. The lightwood heir tried to defend himself and even threw some punches but the number was too large and he couldn't do anything but take their hits and kicks.

After they were done with him they left him alone beaten and bloody laughing and calling him pathetic as they went, the beaten boy tried to get up but his body hurt too much and he slid to ground he somehow managed to get himself in a sitting position leaning against the lockers,

He touched his lips and grimaced as a pain shot through it, he got himself in a more comfortable position and remembered all that had happened, his eyebrows frowned as he recalled their words

"I'm not pathetic" he muttered darkly, he grinned with his battered lips and said the things that came to his mind

"You will pay for it, oh you will for it dearly"

The scene changed and everything around me started to fade in clouds of gray and black color and reform into another scene's image it was the same younger Alec of eleven who still had light bruises on his skin although they were less visible now, but the thing that stood out most was the scissors in the young teens hand, he were holding the scissors to someone's throat and that someone was writhing under him in pain, where the scissors were pressing has left a cut and a single streak of blood came out of it, the person under him was crying, thrashing and begging him to stop. But he didn't.

"Now now Sam don't be such a crybaby" Alec said with such menace that Sam shivered involuntarily in fear, he tried to recoiled back from the scissors that were assaulting his throat and life but to no avail.

"p-please let m-me go A-Alec" the fallen boy whimpered under him with tears streaming down his face but the eleven year old Alec wouldn't let go.

"Now you know the difference between us you will always be beneath me, under my feet" Alec spat raged, exerting more pressure to his throat making the boy whimper and cry and making more blood to come forth from the cut.

"I-I s-see I-I'm b-beneath y-you s-so p-please let go" the boy again said begging, he wanted to move his hand so he could move the pressure from his throat he was so scared so very scared, but he couldn't his one arm was pinned under Alec's knees and other bruised and beaten probably broken by Alec, he had no way to get out of this.

Alec laughed without mirth, the same laugh his father gave him all those years ago and he felt empty he didn't know why or what he was doing he just knew he wasn't weak not anymore. the hunger of power was driving him. Driving him crazy.

Older Alec watched his younger self grin darkly at the boy who he held, his eyes dimmed at recognition came of who he exactly was... a monster, that was what he was that's what he became in order to become stronger, in order to chase his demon away he became one himself and that though brought a sting to his chest.

He shook his head at all the thoughts consuming him and looks straight at younger raven head, the younger Alec laughed again and finally released some pressure on the scissor to let Sam breathe but not fully letting him go.

"You are pathetic. You are so weak and vulnerable that I can't even begin to comprehend. Not just you though every single one of your friend was the same but I took care of them the same way. They cried, whimpered and begged but I didn't stop cause I'm stronger, stronger than you ever could be" younger Alec finished driven by lust of power and haunted memories of past and torture his father has put him through.

A voice underneath young Alec bought him back to reality "w-what did you do them?" Sam asked, scared of what he would do to him, there was no one to save him and he was alone with a monster.

Younger Alec grinned again sending jolts of fear in Sam "well I tortured them like I did to you and threw them out of school in trash where they belong"

"h-how did y-you?" Sam asked mortified.

Alec laughed "I am the heir of Lightwood estate, don't you think I have enough power to do it?" _I _said grinning.

Sam's eyes narrowed and he spat with disgust "we came here to make our future you ruined us. You are a monster"

Younger Alec's smile turned more sinister and he whispered in Sam's ear "you shouldn't have done that" his hold on the scissor tighten and pressure on Sam's throat increased "you shouldn't have spread false rumors about me, I'm not gay damn it" he said as he cuts a deep line on Sam's throat initiating a pained gasp from him.

Younger Alec got up with a raged look on his face but behind the anger in his eyes there was fear which was impossible to see but older Alec knew himself better he immediately saw through the façade of anger and saw the fear which consumed him, he remembered how his father has reacted to the rumors when he got the air of it, he beat him up and didn't feed him and threaten to kill him in a worst possible way if the rumors had even an ounce of truth in them, older Alec still can feel the pain of all the punches, kicks, slaps and threats in his body, Alec knew this world is survival of the fittest and having a disadvantage of being gay will only bring him down to his deathbed and the one who dug it he knew would be his father, he watched as the younger Alec turned around the hallway leaving a beaten but still alive Sam on the ground, he shook his head nothing has changed.

He still wants to survive.

The scene again faded in a light and then everything went dark.

The throbbing in my head jolts me awake of my sleep or a nightmare if you wish to call it and I look around see an old looking cell like room, I turn my head and spot a somewhat rundown looking door which had wood peeling off of it and a rather clean toilet near by the door inside a room slightly shaded by another door, I focus my still hazy from sleep vision on the object right in front of me and see that it was a plastic chair, I see downwards towards a old looking bed which I was currently lying on, I sit upright on the bed with difficulty and again take my surrounding in, other than door, there was a small window but it was too high up for my reach even with the added height of the chair it will be difficult to reach it, the window had some wooden doors to it which were slightly open to let in some light of the night.

I gather by the event that has happened and is happening that I was kidnapped. As far my mind allows me I remember being hit by an object and passing out, it all happened after I talked to Jem, I get up off from the bed and go towards the door, I try to push it open but it doesn't budge. I try to push it harder next time but it still doesn't open, then I use all my strength but it still doesn't open, even though it looks old and shabby it's quite strong to withstood my strength, I kneel down to the door's lock level and examine the lock it looks quiet old and rusty but not enough to easily be opened by force if only I had a sharp object I would have picked it up.

To check for something sharp, I check my clothes, only then I notice I was wearing the same clothes as the night when I got hit, but they were more disheveled and a little dirty with some grime on them. I examine the dirt to make out the place I was in but no such luck, I don't know which day is today or how long I slept or if I slept because I was drugged but I knew one thing I needed to get out of here. Wherever here was, was not the place I should be in. I keep my head calm and don't panic, I know panicking in situation like this will not help it would only bring me to my downfall, I have been kidnapped as a child and I know from experience it's not a pleasant feeling, I still have scars on my back from the horrid experience. I shut my mind of the memories that are trying to come into my conscious and shook my head, I need to focus.

I don't find any objects in my clothes so I start searching for objects in the room, I look around the whole room and don't find anything other dust , some shampoo and soaps and a change of cloth that consisted of a white button down shirt and some black pajama pants. I don't wear them just keep them near the bed on the chair where I have found it.

I slump down on the bed exhausted and tend to my injury on the head, it's not bad I gather, on the contrary I'm quite surprised I have such a small injury it's not even bleeding but it just a bump whoever who has hit had quite precision and has experience in fighting, I know from the previous kidnapping incident that most would not be as gentle as the person who has kidnapped me has been, I snort at my thoughts, gentle? What have happened to me? Has the hit damage my brain? I am thinking of my kidnapper as gentle? The idea itself is so ridiculous that it brought me a mirthless laugh. I lay down on the bed with my eyes open not having hope of getting out, I laugh mirthlessly again 'so this will be my end' I think as I think back on my life.

Life had not been slightest bit fair or even a bit amiable to me, I have always struggled to survive in this world, since childhood I had done everything in my power just to live and breathe in a inhabitable environment, I had no one by my side, I didn't had any mother or sibling, so I assumed I don't need them, I had survived this far without anyone what difference does it make now? I wonder how '_father_' is doing, is he even trying to find me? Does anyone even know I am missing and kidnapped? All the thought just ends up giving me a headache, so I lie down with my eyes closed and think back to the last person I talked to, Jem, I wonder if he is ok, I hate to admit it to myself but I'm worried about him, 'how will he cope from my loss? Will he be okay? Will he be brought back to that vulnerable state I found him in?'

I turn around in the bed as the smallest bits of sadness overwhelms me, "what if we never see each other?" the words are out of my mouth before I can help it, I again turn around in bed at the discomfort in my chest and before I know it I have fallen into unconsciousness.

I woke up as I hear some noise beside my bed, I don't open my eyes still pretending to sleep I know whoever that is there, is definitely my kidnapper and I have no intention of letting him know I am awake it could only get me in trouble, so I calm my breathing down and relax my posture, specially my shoulder which has stiffen considerably, pretending to be asleep, I feel a hand touch my cheek and again I stiffen but forcefully relax myself. I don't know how many of them are there so I can't be reckless. I feel the hand begin to stroke my cheek and I withstood the shiver that is trying to course through my body, I'm quite surprised they are not shiver of disgust but something else that I am too scared to name.

The hand continue stroking my cheek and I bite my inside of cheek to withhold the insult that was about to flow out of my mouth, I was not a fool I knew very well what this could mean and I dreaded the moment, but I steeled myself for whatever is about to happen and I encourage myself to fight no matter what.

"you can stop pretending to sleep" a velvety deep voice say from beside of me, although I'm shocked on the inside I don't show it on the outside and still lay relaxed there pretending to sleep.

I heard a sigh from beside of me and the hand stop stroking my cheeks, I relax when I realize he is not touching me anymore.

"I will strip you if you don't stop pretending" the same velvety voice says playfully.

I still don't respond and lie there as if I am asleep, the hand on my cheeks moves lower and lower and lower till it reached my jacket it starts to unbuttoning it that's when I open my eyes and held his hand in my own to stop him, I look up and a smirking beautiful Asian man assault my vision.

I blink once, twice and finally take in the appearance of the man, he had spiky black tresses in a faux hawk where the tips of his hair is colored with purple color, I raise my eyebrow at this but don't comment, he has sharp almond shaped green eye with specs of gold brought out more by eyeliner, his nose is straight and pointy, he had plump lips with gloss on it, my eyes move down to curve of his neck and rest on slightly showing collarbone by the deep purple V-neck t-shirt he was wearing and lastly my eyes rest on the firm thighs which were easily visible to me by the tight jeans he was wearing, all in all I gather my kidnapper is rather flashy? And handsome.

I heard clearing of a throat and my eyes again rest on his face and see him smirking down at me, something is weird I think as recognition dawns on me 'this guy he is...'

"if you are done eye raping me I would like to introduce myself" he says as he again clear his throat and sends me a smirk to which I raise my eyebrow I can't believe he is that mysterious guy, I look around the room noticing no one else is there 'maybe I can take him out' I think.

"oh no don't even think about it" he says as he sits down on the chair casually and smirks at me "I'm way stronger than you. You can't escape here"

I sit up straight on the bed and look at him with a blank stare not giving anything away "why are you doing this?"

"isn't that obvious I want revenge" his voice cutting and laced with hatred sends shiver down my spine.

I thought I was broken

Then I looked unto you

You were way worse than my wounds

So how is it that we fit together perfectly

Our puzzle reconnect

With each other

How is it that I have left my heart behind

Where we met me

So how is it my wounds I thought

Will never heal

It's starting to heal

Why is it that we met?

Cause I was in pieces

How could you love me

I was a terrible mess

My pieces break and break

Yet they fit perfectly into yours

Is it fate?

Are we made

I would fight everything

We get

That could separate our ways

So call my name

I would come to you

Then I'm scared of my fate

But then I see your face

And everything is clear

We're made for each other

And I'm no longer in pieces

As I fit perfectly unto you


End file.
